Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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