did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
