Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have already put on my inside pants.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
