I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
