why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i think my cat just said my name.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
