My brain says no but my pants say off.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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