I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
