i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
