Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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