Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car

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(519): View more from Ontario

she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

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(812): View more from Indiana

About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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(805): View more from California

Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?

(805): View more from California

and why are they spooning a flamingo?

(714): View more from California

they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.

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(972): View more from Texas

I woke up wearing mittens dude

(864): View more from South Carolina

I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.

(864): View more from South Carolina

checkmate.

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