its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
