Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
