I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
