the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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