Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
