i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Two words: blizzard sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
