so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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