Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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