he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
