I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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