I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
