Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
