I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
