well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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