We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
