in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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