i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
