Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
