That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
