Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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