I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
