So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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