You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
