Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize