He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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