So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
