if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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