Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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