you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
