miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
