I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
