We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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