After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
two words: eviction party
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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