So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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