Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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