I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
