I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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