We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
