I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
