Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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