conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
