I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
