So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I need water and some morals
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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