i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
