I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
