your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
