Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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