Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
