I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He better not be in your backpack
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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