I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
