One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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