found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
