Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
