tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
