So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
