You work out of a Hotel?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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