i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
