No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
