plz talk dirty to me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
